“Surviving Struggles as a Leader”
ALR Plenary Address on Leadership • Sermon • Submitted • Presented
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Episcopal Parish Network (EPN) 2023
Jacksonville, FL, March 9 or 10, 2023
Presented by Larry Ross, Founder & CEO
A. Larry Ross Communications
Session Description:
“From this time many of His disciples turned back and no longer followed Him (turned away and deserted him/returned to their former way of life). You do not want to leave too, do you?” Jesus asked the Twelve.”
(John 6: 66, 67 NIV).
“Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life,” (John 6: 68 NIV).
There are moments in leadership when people abandon ship. Even Jesus experienced this dynamic, prompting Him to ask the twelve disciples, “You do not want to leave too, do you?”
Before one can influence and direct others one has to look within to ensure there is congruence between one’s life and leadership, including consistency in character worthy of following. But how does a leader deal with being abandoned or other disappointments that come with being out front or having the microphone?
Combining practical principles of Jesus from Scripture with anecdotal insights from a career spanning more than 46 years representing influential leaders like Billy Graham, Pastor Rick Warren, Bishop T. D. Jakes, Dr. Ben Carson, Dr. Tony Evans, Mel Gibson (“The Passion of The Christ”), Joe DiMaggio, Mike Lindell and numerous other catalytic world changers, A. Larry Ross will provide practical insights into the underbelly of leadership and how one can remain an overcomer, rather than being overcome.
“Surviving Struggles as a Leader” Workshop SCRIPT
Episcopal Parish Network (EPN) 2023
Jacksonville, FL, March 9 or 10, 2023
Presented by Larry Ross, Founder & CEO
A. Larry Ross Communications
(INTRO SLIDE ) – ALRC LOGO
(SLIDE 1) – “Surviving Struggles as a Leader”
· Good morning.
· I want to express my deep appreciation to Stephen Haal, Director of Communications at All Angels Episcopal Church in Dallas, with whom I have worked closely on several projects for the invitation to share with you today as pastors, church communicators and Christian leaders.
· I’m honored to be with you and want to commend you in the critical role you play as “Brand Ambassadors”on behalf of the churches you serve. You are often called upon to be the face or voice of your church and/or its pastoral leadership, and you have the privilege and responsibility to steward your story well.
(SLIDE 2 – ALR PHOTO AND ALRC LOGO)
o My name is Larry Ross, founder and CEO of the eponymously named A. Larry Communications, which my wife and I started in 1994 to provide crossover communications emanating from or targeted to the Christian market.
o Following a career in secular corporate and agency public relations– with The General Motors Corporation and a large Madison Avenue firm in New York City – for more than four decades, I have been providing crossover communications and consultation at:
(Slide 3) –
(THE INTERSECTION OF FAITH AND CULTURE)
o Next week we will celebrate the 29th Anniversary of the founding of our Agency, that has grown to be the oldest and one of the most respected firmsin full-service Christian communications.
o Our team of 15 professionals based in Dallas seeks to leverage the power of story to extend the influence of Pastors/Christian leadersand the impact of the churches and organizations they lead to and through the media and direct via digital platforms.
(SLIDE 4 – OUR EXPERIENCE) – ALRC CLIENT LOGOS)
o In some respects, our Agency is a metaphor for the integration of faith in the marketplace. We have a foot in both the ministry world as well as secular mainstream mediaand regularly interpret and transpose one to the other.
o Lately that has included a significant amount of crisis communications and reputation management.
(SLIDE 5 – BILLY GRAHAM HEAD SHOT)
o For nearly 34 years, I was privileged to serve as personal media spokesperson for evangelist Billy Graham and have a front row seat on all God did through more than half of his ministry of global evangelism spanning six decades, including more than 70 crusades.
o During my tenure, in addition to Mr. Graham I have had opportunity to observe and work with many other leaders, such Pastor Rick Warren, Bishop T. D. Jakes, Dr. Ben Carson, Mel Gibson, Joe DiMaggio and others – up close and personal.
o I am forever grateful for and blessed bytheir exemplary leadership overall and toward me personally.
(SLIDE 6 – “SURVIVING STRUGGLES AS A LEADER”)
o Most books and seminars on Leadership provide practical tools and tips to better encourage, inspire and motivate individuals whom they manage or lead. Titles like:
o “7 Habits of Highly Effective People”
o “The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership”
o “The 48 Laws of Power”
o “The Power of Positive Leadership”
o “How to Win Friends and Influence People”
o …to name a few.
o But my assigned topic today is, “Surviving Struggles as a Leader” – what do we do with that?
o As a wordsmith, I struggled with this question, as its meaning is not clear. Are we talking:
o Surviving struggles in one’s leadership traits or abilities?
o Surviving personal struggles in a leader’s private life? (including health, marriage, family, tragedy or loss?)
o Surviving corporate struggles of the organization one leads? (such as a denominational split or a church losing their building in a tornado; attacks from activist groups or critics, etc.)?
o Actually, I think it can be any – or allof the above.
o Or maybe the key is to flip it?
o Perhaps it’s not about Surviving Struggles, but rather Surrendering to the Struggle?
(SLIDE 7 -
(SURVIVING STRUGGLES VS. SURRENDERING TO THE STRUGGLE?)
o If we survive the struggle, we do so on our own;
o If we surrender, we can rally others around us;
o Many leaders feel lonely, but they should never be isolated;
o If they become lone wolves, they often revert to their weaknesses.
(SLIDE 8)
(THE UNDERBELLY OF LEADERSHIP)
1. Burnout - new pastors only last five years before they feel burned out.
· A Spring 2022 Barna Studydetermined that pastor burnout had risen from 29 – 42 percent of pastors in the previous year who had given serious consideration to quitting ministry – primarily due to:
o Stress
o Loneliness
o Political division/isolation
(SLIDE 9)
“We need sages who advise us, leaders to direct us or hold us accountable, peers to remind us we aren’t alone, healers to dress our wounds and companions who carry us when we can’t carry on.”
Dr. Glenn Packiam, Author,
“The Resilient Pastor”
(SLIDE 10)
(THE UNDERBELLY OF LEADERSHIP)
2. Abandonment
o One of the things I have observed is that there are moments in leadership when people abandon ship.
o Let’s start with an example from Scripture - even Jesus experienced this dynamic.
“From this time many of His disciples turned back and no longer followed Him (turned away and deserted him/returned to their former way of life).
“That prompted Him to ask the twelve disciples, “You do not want to leave too, do you?”
(John 6: 66, 67 NIV)
“Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life,”
(John 6: 68 NIV).
o In that moment, Jesus is asking the disciples a question that suggests they might be contemplating or could leave as well (eventually, they do leave him – falling asleep in the Garden, Peter’s denial in the courtyard).
o But to be abandoned means that the followers were actually leading… (He tells them to deny themselves and take up their cross to follow Him…)
o If you think you are leading and now one is following, you are actually just taking a walk…
o But that wasn’t the case with the disciples, as confirmed by Simon Peter in the next verse, when he answered, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life,” (John 6: 68 NIV).
(SLIDE 11)
(THE UNDERBELLY OF LEADERSHIP)
3. Sedition
“When David and his men reached Ziklag, they found it destroyed by fire and their wives and sons and daughters taken captive. So, David and his men wept aloud until they had no strength left to weep…”
“David was greatly distressed because the men were talking of stoning him; each one was bitter in spirit because of his sons and daughters.”
1 Samuel 30: 3, 4, 6a
o In his zeal to take his defeat the Amalkites, David committed a grievous mistake. Though they experienced a great victory in battle, he had left their families, including wives and children, unprotected in their home village of Ziklag.
o When they returned to the village of Ziklag, they found that the Amalkites had circled back and burned the village and taken captive all its inhabitants – their families.
o David was distraught at this tragedy, partially of his own making, rivaling that of Job but multiplied by 600 as it involved not just his family, but of each of his men as well. Each of them became embittered, and talked of stoning their leader.
(SLIDE 12 - THE UNDERBELLY OF LEADERSHIP)
4. Being Driven vs. Being Called
o When one is driven to things, often their calling is revealed in time of turmoil.
o Indeed, COVID demonstrated that leadership is often formed from catastrophe.
5. Maintaining Family/Ministry Balance
§ EX: T. D. Jakes – Emergency Oxygen Mask
In time of emergency – put yours on first, then your child. It sounds counter-intuitive, but is the right thing to do - because while you can care for your child, they can’t take care of you.
(SLIDE 13 - THE UNDERBELLY OF LEADERSHIP)
6. Choosing obedience over position or power
Ex: John 3 – Nicodemus:
o Does a leader go all in, or do what is safe?
7. Incongruity between One’s Life and Leadership
o Before one can influence and direct others one has to look within to ensure there is congruence between one’s life and leadership, including consistency in character worthy of following.
o Leaders also need accountability.
8. Being Criticized or Falsely Accused
o Ex: Mel Gibson – “The Passion of The Christ”-
When the Hollywood veteran returned from to the States after 9 mos. on-set in Italy, he found he was being sued by an ad-hoc group of theologians convened on the Internet.
We were involved in Crisis Communications for the first four months before we could even focus on publicizing the film. He followed the
In our first meeting, I shared a quote from Evangelist Charles Spurgeon. “The Word of God is like a lion; you don’t need to defend it, just turn it loose.”
Following the example of the lead character in the film, he never defended himself, rather let others – and the film – do so on his behalf.
(SLIDE 14)
(LEADERSHIP UNDERBELLY ANTIDOTES)
o BURNOUT
o Know Who You Are -
o Pivot from living as a “Human Doing” to a Human Being.”
o If All you do is do-do-do, that’s “Do-doo…”
o Jesus was never in a hurry but he was always on-time.
o Put a Bullet in the “Poser”
o God can use us far greater in our brokenness than our giftings and grandiosity.
“You will Know the Truth and the Truth will Set You Free. In This Abiding You will Know the Truth about who you are, and That Knowing Will Be Your Freedom.”
John 8:32 (MIR)
SLIDE 15)
(LEADERSHIP UNDERBELLY ANTIDOTES)
o Give “The Heisman” to FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out”)
o Don’t feel like you have to always be where things are happening; rather make things happen wherever you are.
o (Even if you are a Type-A personality), Operate out of your callingand giftings, rather than being driven out of your pathology, avoiding or running from past wounds.
“Leadership is Not a Lofty Pillar but a Long Embrace of Knowing Who we are in the Love of God.”
(SLIDE 13)
(LEADERSHIP UNDERBELLY ANTIDOTES)
o ABANDONMENT
§ Know Whose You Are
§ Double Down on Mission
“Wake up and strengthen the things that remain, which were about to die, for I have not found your deeds completed in the sight of my God.”
(Rev. 3:2)
§ Remain Purpose-Driven
§ “The morning after Jesus had taught and healed huge crowds, the Disciples came to Jesus, found him praying, and said, “Everyone is looking for you.” Jesus replied, “Then we will go somewhere else to the neighboring towns so that I may give my message there – that is why I have come.”
Mark 1:25
§ A leper came to him and said, “I want you to make me clean,” and Jesus replied, “I want to.”
Mark 1:40
(Why did He run from crowds and yet wanted to help a leper (make him clean vs. heal).
§ Recognize there is no such thing as a leader – we are all followers.
Ex: Bishop Ken Ulmer – I am not a Servant Leader; I am a Servant Follower…
o Doug Coe to Steve Kamanapali – “Have you ever asked anyone to follow you?” He encouraged him to do so at his next weekly Bible class – out of 30, a dozen raised their hands… It sounds pompous and presumptuous, but what he was saying is, “Follow me – as I follow Jesus…”
SLIDE Words of Wisdom
· As Christian leaders, our job is not to be successful, but faithful – to allow God to work in and through us.
· It is not our ability, but rather our availability that will determine our Kingdom impact.
· Follow the leadership example of Jesus, who:
o Emphasized RELATIONAL INTEGRITY over INTELLECTUAL ACCURACY (ex: made Judas treasurer and gave him the purse, even though He knew he would rip Him off and betray Him).
o Was Present in the Moment – (I used to have FOMO – Fear of Missing Out – but learned from a Fellowship colleague, who is a former MP from Norway, that “Jesus made things happen wherever He was…”)
o Go beyond “Servant Leadership” to “Servant Think-manship.” Reframe the limitations of the social media prompt, “What are you doing today,” to letting followers know what you are thinking, that prompts thoughtful dialogue and discussion. Jesus’ impact was less in the answers given than the questions asked (“Who do you say that I am…)
o Pivot from living as a “Human Doing to a Human Being.” I would encourage anyone who is a fellow Type-A personality to operate out of your calling and giftings, rather than being driven out of your pathology, avoiding or running from past wounds.
o Consider the leadership example faithfully modeled by Billy Graham that I would summarize in four words:
1. Humility –
2. Integrity – Bristol
3. Authenticity
· first visit to his mountain home after his last crusade
· Everyone needs someone to love, something to do, something to anticipate or look forward to
· Priority was caring for Ruth
· But despite physical limitations, the heart of the evangelist continued to beat (Dreaming of a global telecast)
· Galatians 6:14 – May I never boast in the Cross of Jesus Christ”, and he planned to lay all his awards and rewards at His feet.
4. Transparency
· There wasn’t two Billy Grahams
· Billy never compromised the Gospel – was a paramedic, not a policeman for the Kingdom
· Maintained a proper balance of Grace and Truth
5. Leadership with Love
· Time Gala
Excerpts from Brad Bursma W.O.W. Factor Podcast Prep
THIS MORNING – FRESH BREAD
o Reading in Mark 1:25 – the morning after Jesus had taught and healed huge crowds, the Disciples came to Jesus, found him praying, and said, “Everyone is looking for you.” Jesus replied, “Then we will go somewhere else to the neighboring towns so that I may give my message there – that is why I have come.”
o Vs 40 – a leper came to him and said, “I want you to make me clean,” and Jesus replied, “I want to.” Why did He run from crowds and yet wanted to help a leper (make him clean vs. heal). It became impossible for him to show his face in towns and so had to stay in lonely places. That was BG.
o Rev. 3:2 – “Wake up and strengthen the things that remain, which were about to die, for I have not found your deeds completed in the sight of my God.”
o Psalm 71: 17, 18 – O God, Thou has taught me from my youth; and I will declare your words and deeds and even when I am old and gray, don’t forsake me until I declare Thy strength to this generation, Thy power to all who are to come.”
o Amos 8:11 – Behold, the day is coming says the Lord, when I will send a famine on the land – not a famine for bread or water, but for hearing the words of the Lord.
o We have just come out – or are coming out of a year of COVID-19 famine, and are starting to find our new normal. The churches who strengthen or pivot to digital church are the ones that will not only survive but thrive during this season. Indeed, many of our clients – I am sure yours as well – have been seeing 3-4 times as many viewers online as attend physical services.
COVID-19 has presented an unprecedented opportunity for the message of the Cross – and an unprecedented search for purpose and meaning as individuals are vulnerable and looking to turn fear into faith.
o I have never been called to preach, but what we do is every bit as much ministry as core platforms as it takes the message beyond the church walls or base to reach audiences that would never attend the church or event or buy product.
§ Privileged to serve as Communications Director for the last five months of Ben Carson’s Presidential Campaign in 2016. He was a citizen-statesman, not a politician, who was on a mission for God and the Common Good, so messaging him was similar to representing Billy Graham or Rick Warren.
§ I went to visit him as a Cabinet Secretary several months after being appointed to head up HUD, and I learned an important crisis principle from his deputy press officer in the field.
§ “Every crisis has three players: Perpetrator/offender, victim and a hero. I can solve any problem if you allow me to change the role of my client in that scenario.
9. Words of Wisdom
· As Christian leaders, our job is not to be successful, but faithful – to allow God to work in and through us.
· It is not our ability, but rather our availability that will determine our Kingdom impact.
· My mantra has always been to “SUIT UP, SHOW UP (AND IN RECENT YEARS) LIFT UP (THE NAME OF JESUS) AT EVERY OPPORTUNITY.
· The challenge for ministry leaders today, is how to present the Gospel in a culture that has already combusted. The answer is to balance Grace and Truth:
o Truth without Grace can be debilitating, but
o Grace without Truth can be deceptive.
· Follow the leadership example of Jesus, who:
o Emphasized RELATIONAL INTEGRITY over INTELLECTUAL ACCURACY (ex: made Judas treasurer and gave him the purse, even though He knew he would rip Him off and betray Him).
o Was Present in the Moment – (I used to have FOMO – Fear of Missing Out – but learned from a Fellowship colleague, who is a former MP from Norway, that “Jesus made things happen wherever He was…”)
o Go beyond “Servant Leadership” to “Servant Think-manship.” Reframe the limitations of the social media prompt, “What are you doing today,” to letting followers know what you are thinking, that prompts thoughtful dialogue and discussion. Jesus’ impact was less in the answers given than the questions asked (“Who do you say that I am…)
o Pivot from living as a “Human Doing to a Human Being.” I would encourage anyone who is a fellow Type-A personality to operate out of your calling and giftings, rather than being driven out of your pathology, avoiding or running from past wounds.
ACADEMY WITHIN – INTRISIC LEADERSHIP
· A friend of mine from The Fellowship who is a longtime life coach and leadership consultant is building an innovative training program called “Academy Within,” through which they are developing a curriculum focused on “Intrinsic Leadership.”
o Most leadership development programs focus on the “how-tos: how to lead a team, how to influence others, how to get others to follow you.
o While how-tos are important, they are secondary to intra-leadership, or Intrinsic Leadership – the inner practice of cultivating the essential, best and whole self through honing skills of becoming more aware, grounded, engaged and resilient.
o Before one can influence and direct others one has to look within to ensure there is congruence between one’s life and leadership, including consistency in character worthy of following.
o But it is not just a simple question of whether one has good character; leaders also need accountability.
o But how does a leader deal with being abandoned or other disappointments that come with being out front or having the microphone, including burnout?
o Melany - Anything on Reputation Management
o Authenticity
o Transparency
o Consistency
1. Start with the Point of View
o If you are a leader, you can either be attacked for doing the right thing or because of mistakes you have made.
o Pastors now staring down the barrel of a possible recession – less giving and programs have to be furloughed. How do you explain that to your congregation?
o Examples of leaders who did things right as well as those who did things wrong.
o Focus on elevated impact you are making (or God is accomplishing through you) in terms of transformed lives.
o EX: Rick Marshall – everyone needs three things:
o Someone to love.
o Something to do.
o Something to look forward to
o Billy on the mountain in summer 2005 – first time he only had two out of three.
o Need for focus – don’t get distracted.
o Called vs. Driven.
From Phil Hicks:
LEADERSHIP
Leadership is a verb, not a noun (communicating direction and expectations). We have long known what “outputs” we want leaders to deliver. Here is Harvard Business School Professor John Kotter’s concise working summary of a leader’s duties:
Establish Direction: developing a vision of the future - often the distant future - and strategies for producing the changes needed to achieve that vision Aligning People: communicating direction and expectations in words and deeds to all those whose cooperation may be needed so as to influence the creation of teams and coalitions that understand the vision and strategies and that accept their validity Motivating/Inspiring: energizing people to overcome major political, bureaucratic, and resource barriers.
As a leader, It is not what you preach, it is what you tolerate.
When setting expectations, no matter what has been said or written, if substandard performance is accepted and no one is held accountable - if there are no consequences - that poor performance becomes the new standard. Leaders must enforce standards. But if you set standards and find that employees aren’t meeting expectations, one can’t ask “why aren’t they getting it?” That’s external. Instead, you need to look internally and ask, “What am I doing as a leader to empower them or not equip the team?” Unless you look interna, your search will be external.
o But how does a leader deal with being abandoned or other disappointments that come with being out front or having the microphone, including burnout?
WHEATON CHAPEL ADDRESS EXCERPT
· Since 1981, when God gave me a front row seat for what He was doing through various ministries around the world, my quest turned from success to significance. But unfortunately, most of my significance was based on externals – what I did, and who I did it for. I didn’t have any time to focus on who Iwas, or my personal relationship with God.
My intensity in doing everything I could to help clients use every media opportunity to make positive points for the Gospel became toxic, to me and my family.
· I became a slave to the tyranny of the urgent, rather than choosing to do the important. Running from my personal pain kept me from seeing the truth. I was living on airplanes, and put my family on the altar of ministry. So much of what I proclaimed in my work for God, wasn’t really true for me.
· I was addicted to caffeine and adrenalin, the positive stress and exhilaration of my job and the nobleness of my calling -- I wasn’t using my time and expertise to merely sell soap, our product was now changed lives.
· I went on the sheer stamina of youth, pushing myself to the limit. I was the classic workaholic, with no balance in my life. If I had been working 100 hours a week in a secular vocation, people would have said, “You’re crazy.” Instead, because it was for ministry and people were coming to Christ, they said, “Praise God.”
· I became known for what I did, rather than for who I was. “He’s Billy Graham’s P.R. man – tell us, what is Billy really like?”
· I was working with the White House, leaders in business and government, virtually every major media outlet in the U.S. and many overseas, traveling and setting up press operations all over the world (in 180 countries.)
· I was involved in challenging, varied and creative projects, getting incredible experience and seeing tremendous results. But I had no balance to my life. I was living the imposter syndrome… I was miserable.
· I HAD A DRIVE, BUT NO PURPOSE!
· I wasn’t doing God’s will; I was doing my will in His name.
· I was finding significance and self-worth in a job where I was:
- only as good as my last press conference
- only as capable as the coverage we received of our last crusade or media event
- only as important as what I could deliver on the next project
· I was the guy the prophet Isaiah spoke about in Chapter 50, when he wrote:
“Look, all you who kindle a fire,
Who encircle yourselves with sparks…
Walk in the light of your fire and in the sparks you have kindled –This youshall have from My hand:
Youshall lay down in torment.”
· I was walking in the light of my own fire. I was carrying my own torch and riding in on my white horse. Deep down, I hoped God realized how lucky He was to have such a conscientious, hard-working guy on his team.
· But God had a different idea. He wanted to put out my torch, shoot that horse out from under me and get me to trust in Him again, and Him alone. He knew I needed to put some margins – with Him in them – back into my life: (go to four points ->)
- He wasn’t impressed with my ability; He was concerned about my lack of availability.
- He wasn’t moved by my time inministry, but by my lack of time for Him.
- He didn’t care about how much I was trying, but how little I was trusting.
- God says in His Word, “Be holy, because I am holy,” not, “Act holy so that others may come to Christ.” And I was an imposter.
· I was more of a “human doing” than a human being. I had gotten to the point where I was so busy being caught up in what I was doing for the Lord, that I missed out on His blessing for my life.
· God’s Word speaks a lot about rest, balance and priorities. In Psalm 116:7-9, we read:
Return to your rest, oh my soul. For the Lord has dealt bountifully with you. For thou have rescued my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling. I shall walk before the Lord in the Land of the living.
· And so, five years ago next month, I had to take myself out of commission for a while and restructure my priorities. I turned myself in for work addiction and went away for a period of time to learn how to feel and to live in the moment again.
· When I started that process, I was “the Wizard of Oz” – the man behind the curtain, creating the smoke and mirrors. I was running scared. I sought clarity through intellectualization for the sake of control to give myself the illusion of security.
· But I got to the point where I couldn’t do it anymore. After working through my stuff (continuing in that Oz metaphor), I became the Tin Man -- who was able to think and feel with his heart.
· I learned to accept life as an unfolding series of gifts we cannot control, rather than a challenge to be met and manipulated.
· I realized that God could use me far more effectively in my brokenness, than He could in my giftingsor my grandiosity.
· I recognized that neither success nor significance brought fulfillment to my soul – only the Savior can bring true satisfaction.
That’s not something I didn’t hear a thousand times in Sunday School, and right here in this chapel. But I knew it in my head, not my heart.
· I learned that saving the world becomes academic if it comes at the expense of one’s family, and that the most important thing I could do was to be a better husband a father to my three boys.
· Before I was running so hard that I wasn’t able to feel, and for the first time in a long while I was able to experience joy – not just the happiness that comes from doing a great job on something. But true joy – the joy of my family, the joy of my faith, the joy found in moments of life itself.
· The scripture says, “The joy of the Lord is our strength.” Knowing that, I was able to be comfortable in my own skin, free at last to know and to love others and be known and loved by them.
9. Words of Wisdom
· As Christian leaders, our job is not to be successful, but faithful – to allow God to work in and through us.
· It is not our ability, but rather our availability that will determine our Kingdom impact.
· My mantra has always been to “SUIT UP, SHOW UP (AND IN RECENT YEARS) LIFT UP (THE NAME OF JESUS) AT EVERY OPPORTUNITY.
· The challenge for ministry leaders today, is how to present the Gospel in a culture that has already combusted. The answer is to balance Grace and Truth:
o Truth without Grace can be debilitating, but
o Grace without Truth can be deceptive.
· Follow the leadership example of Jesus, who:
o Emphasized RELATIONAL INTEGRITY over INTELLECTUAL ACCURACY (ex: made Judas treasurer and gave him the purse, even though He knew he would rip Him off and betray Him).
o Was Present in the Moment – (I used to have FOMO – Fear of Missing Out – but learned from a Fellowship colleague, who is a former MP from Norway, that “Jesus made things happen wherever He was…”)
o Go beyond “Servant Leadership” to “Servant Think-manship.” Reframe the limitations of the social media prompt, “What are you doing today,” to letting followers know what you are thinking, that prompts thoughtful dialogue and discussion. Jesus’ impact was less in the answers given than the questions asked (“Who do you say that I am…)
o Pivot from living as a “Human Doing to a Human Being.” I would encourage anyone who is a fellow Type-A personality to operate out of your calling and giftings, rather than being driven out of your pathology, avoiding or running from past wounds.
o Consider the leadership example faithfully modeled by Billy Graham that I would summarize in four words:
1. Humility –
2. Integrity – Bristol
3. Authenticity
· first visit to his mountain home after his last crusade
· Everyone needs someone to love, something to do, something to anticipate or look forward to
· Priority was caring for Ruth
· But despite physical limitations, the heart of the evangelist continued to beat (Dreaming of a global telecast)
· Galatians 6:14 – May I never boast in the Cross of Jesus Christ”, and he planned to lay all his awards and rewards at His feet.
4. Transparency
· There wasn’t two Billy Grahams
· Billy never compromised the Gospel – was a paramedic, not a policeman for the Kingdom
· Maintained a proper balance of Grace and Truth
5. Leadership with Love
· Time Gala
o Three Questions:
1. What do you know for Sure?
· For me, it is that “God will never call you where He can’t use you.”
2. Who do you Trust?
· Life is lived forward but learned backwards – our future is in God’s hands.
· Powerfully impressed on me in two epiphanies as I returned to two places I hadn’t been in 20 years that hadn’t changed, but enabled me to see how much I had:
o Deerfoot Lodge – Chastising letter from President of Wheaton College after walking across graduation stage to receive diploma with a flashing bowtie.
o Hotel across from my General Motors Century City office, before I took Billy Graham to meet DreamWorks co-founder Jeffrey Katzenberg to preview their first animated feature, “Prince of Egypt.”
3. What Matters Most
· Several years ago, “Time” magazine had a back page essay by Roger Rosenblatt entitled, “What Should We Lead With?”:
“Journalists put the question in practical terms: What should we lead with? The rest of the population asks more generally: What matters most? They come to the same puzzle: Survey events in a given period of time and try to come up with the single moment, the headline, by which the world may be characterized, stopped in its spin. What should we lead with? What matters most?
What we confront in making such choices is not the events alone, but ourselves; and it is ourselves we are not able to place in order. The question is not what the press decrees is this week’s news. The question is us. What should we lead with, what matters most?”
· What matters most? For me, that was a difficult question that has been a lifelong struggle. I have had a performance orientation all of my life, often feeling valued for what I did, rather than who I was.
Early in my career, I was striving for significance, often measured by either the events in which I was involved, the resulting impact or extent to which we were able to influence public opinion.
As I shifted into the ministry arena, I became intense, doing everything I could to help clients use every media opportunity to make positive points for the Gospel.
· I was addicted to caffeine and adrenalin, the positive stress and exhilaration of my job and the nobleness of my calling -- I wasn’t using my time and expertise to merely sell soap, our product was now changed lives.
· I went on the sheer stamina of youth, pushing myself to the limit. I was the classic workaholic, with no balance in my life. If I had been working 100 hours a week selling vacuum cleaners people would have said, “You’re crazy.” Instead, because it was for ministry and people were coming to Christ, they said, “Praise God.”
· I became known not for who I was, but for what I did. “He’s Billy Graham’s P.R. man – tell us, what is Billy really like?”
· I was working with the White House, leaders in business and government, virtually every major media outlet in the U.S. and many overseas, traveling and setting up press operations all over the world (in 180 countries.)
· I was involved in challenging, varied and creative projects, getting incredible experience and seeing tremendous results. But I had no balance to my life. I was living the imposter syndrome. I was miserable.
· I HAD A DRIVE, BUT NO PURPOSE!
· I wasn’t doing God’s will, as Mike Warnke used to say, I was doing my will in His name.
· I was finding significance and self-worth in a job where I was:
- only as good as my last press conference
- only as capable as the coverage we received of our last crusade
- only as important as what I could deliver on the next project.
· I was the guy the prophet Isaiah spoke about in Chapter 50:
“Look, all you who kindle a fire,
Who encircle yourselves with sparks:
Walk in the light of your fire and in the sparks you have kindled –
This you shall have from My hand:
You shall lay down in torment.”
· I was walking in the light of my own fire. I was carrying my own torch and riding in on my white horse and just hoped God realized how lucky he was to have such a conscientious, hard-working guy on his team.
· But God had a different idea. He wanted to put out my torch and shoot that horse out from under me and get me to trust again in him, and him alone, and put some margins – with Him in them – back into my life:
- He wasn’t impressed with my ability; He was concerned about my lack of availability;
- He wasn’t moved by my time in ministry, but by my lack of time for Him;
- He didn’t care about how much I was trying, but how little I was trusting;
- God says in His Word, “Be holy, because I am holy,” not, “Act holy so that others may come to Christ.” And I was an imposter.
· I was more of a “human doing” than a human being. I had gotten to the point where I was so busy being caught up in what I was doing for the Lord, that I missed out on His blessing for my life.
· But I got to the point where I couldn’t do it anymore. After a series of events and people the Lord brought into my life to help me work through my stuff, I learned to accept life as an unfolding series of gifts we cannot control, rather than a challenge to be met and manipulated.
· And so, nearly 25 years ago, I had to take myself out of commission for a while and restructure my priorities. I turned myself in for work addiction and went away for five weeks to learn how to feel and to live in the moment again.
· (When I started that process, I was “the Wizard of Oz” – the man behind the curtain, working the smoke and mirrors. I was an imposter, running scared. I sought clarity through intellectualization for the sake of control to give myself the illusion of security.
· But I got to the point where I couldn’t do it anymore. After working through my stuff (continuing in that Oz metaphor), I became the Tin Man -- who was able to think and feel with his heart. I learned to accept life as an unfolding series of gifts we cannot control, rather than a challenge to be met and manipulated.)
· God’s Word speaks a lot about rest, balance and priorities. But I was more of a “human doing” rather than a human being. But I had gotten to the point where I was so busy being caught up in what I was doing for the Lord, that I missed out on His blessing for my life.
· I realized that God could use me far more effectively in my brokenness, than He can in my giftings or my grandiosity.
· I recognized that neither success nor significance brought fulfillment to my soul – only the savior can bring true satisfaction.
· How about you? What matters most in your life – as a person, a student, a homemaker or a professional?
· Do you know Jesus, or are you just doing Jesus?
· Are you merely going through the motions of cultural Christianity – where you know the lingo, can sing the latest praise songs without the words on the wall, and can pray a mean prayer in public – but don’t have a vital faith or resurrection power in your life?
· Is Jesus just a ticket to heaven, or do you allow His Holy Spirit to empower you to live for Him and compel others to know the Christ they see in you?
· Are you so overwhelmed by the pressures of school or maybe making enough money to pay for it you are not seizing the opportunity to trust Him?
· Are you going through life at “Mach Two with your hair on fire”, without a thought about rolling down the window or stopping to smell the roses?
· What matters most in your life – as a person, as a student, or a professional?
· Are you so overwhelmed by the pressures of life, school or vocation that you are not seizing the opportunity to trust Him?
What matters most to you – is it something temporal, or something that will never change?
Are you motivated by the opportunity we have to influence a hurting world with issues of eternal significance, especially in the recent cultural shift of the unprecedented pandemic over the past year ,when people are searching for answers, considering their own morality and more open to the Gospel than ever before?
· Former Senate Chaplain, Dick Halverson put it this way,
“You’ve got to treat yourself as a zero. If you stretch out many zeros in a row, you still have zero. But, if you put a one in front of it, there is no limit to what you can have – one million, one billion, one trillion. Jesus Christ is the one. He can multiply your power and efficiencies many times. He can give us meaning to the zero of our lives.”
· I am just learning about who God is, and in the process, He has shown me that every day is a gift from Him,
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o assigned topic is “Developing Character in Leadership.
o I have been blessed to have been mentored by three great men in my life:
· My Father – a dedicated New Testament scholarwith an earned doctorate from the University of Chicago, who for many years was a professor at the Faith Seminary, The Wheaton College Graduate School and Moody Bible Institute, before becoming a dual vocation pastor and hospital chaplain in his later years before his retirement well into his eighties.
o On a personal note, it took my dad 17 years to obtain his doctorate, as he was rarely a full-time student. But it became his obsession and priority, and was something with which I competed my whole life,precluding him from ever coming to ball games or activity, which I came to resent as the eldest child, who often had to serve as surrogate father for my two brothers.
o It also became the foundation for our family becoming a “performance driven household,” whereby we were loved not for who we were, but for what we achieved – or how we made the family look. So, becoming Billy Graham’s PR guy, was actually a “set-up” for me, by which he would often ask me on phone calls, “How’s Billy,” to obtain bragging rights for his academic friends, but rarely inquire about me.
· Evangelist Billy Graham – who over more than three decades became a close colleague, mentor and friend, whom I was able to observe up close and personal, during which time I observed he was the same person in private as he was in public.
o My Pastor defines success as “When the people who know you best, love you most,” and that would apply to Mr. Graham
o People have asked me to describe him in one word, and I have to use four: Integrity, Authenticity, Humility and Vision, by which he was able to exemplify “Leadership with Love.” And, of course, he was a man of prayer.
o Mr. Graham would often speak about Leadership when he traveled for crusades, and in addition to the traits of integrity and vision I already mentioned, he would add two more:
o A sense of priority – being able to separate the important from the urgent or unimportant, triage required of virtually every busy graduate candidate.
o Personal Security – to know who you are, where you are going and to find fulfillment in something other than your career, which for him was spiritual. That is something that many graduate students lack in their drive for success in their field.
o I would also add that Mr. Graham was used by God less for his considerable ability, than his availability. I have often heard people say, “I can’t do that, I’m not Billy Graham.” But the evangelist I observed, particularly at the end of his ministry, often struggled with health and physical limitations, sometimes so ill or weak he could hardly walk without assistance. But when it came time to speak, he would be filled with a power, anointing and strength that could only come from the Lord, only to collapse at the end of his sermon.
· Doug Coe – longtime leader of the Fellowship and National Prayer Breakfast, whom the Lord took home on the same day as Billy Graham one year prior. I was privileged to write an obituary for both men in TIME magazine.
· As I shared in the tribute to Mr. Coe, I wrote that I never understood Billy Graham until I met Doug. Prior to that, I assumed that Mr. Graham was uniquely wired to boldly preach the Gospel in stadiums around the world, often feeling the weight and responsibility of the eternal destiny of the huge crowds was dependent on the words he spoke.
· But Doug helped me realize that was intentional, not intuitive, and an agreement they made together. As a result, whenever Mr. Graham was one-on-one with a President, world leader or famous celebrity, he never preached, was sometimes pastoral, but usually just loved them.
§ Buddy Hackett story (If time).
· That Trojan Horse approach to evangelism and faith, is something I learned from the Fellowship
§ Other thoughts on Leadership
§ Bold Witness –
.
· Stress relational leadership. Jesus emphasized relational integrity over intellectual honesty – Judas – gave him the purse.
· Mother Teresa – don’t judge people just because you don’t have time to love them.
· A fellowship colleague, former Minister of Finance for Kosovo, a Muslim, who is a follower of Jesus, once told me, “God will judge us not only for what we have done, but how much we love.
· I had lunch recently with a Dallas Pastor, who had a crisis of faith, and after a week alone with God, he realized that whomever he meets, he can only know two things for sure:
· That individual carries with them characteristics of God (we are made in His image); and
· God loves them as much as he loves me (so I can’t go “one up” on them, because of my faith.
· Focus on the Individual – Don’t be so enamored with who is onstage(and I am not talking about tonight), that you overlook a dozen people sitting in your row, who may go on to greatness and may be lifelong colleagues.
o In closing, as far as leadership goes, all of us are called to be ambassadors for the Kingdom of God, and can allow the love of God to shine through us.
o As such, we need to exhibit character even in the small things, and exhibit:
o Presence in the moment;
o Prayer in the moment; and for those who are parents,
o Patriarch of our families to the next generation
o Closing story – 26-year-old Millennial Stage manager at NBC affiliate in Jax – did something I had never seen anyone do with B.G. – tell story.
o Everyone needs prayer, they need a touch, and that can be all of our personal ministries.
o That day I committed I would never leave a meeting or phone call with Mr. Graham, when I didn’t ask how I could pray for him – and did it, recognizing that very few, if any people were doing so.
o God bless you.
A GLOBAL WITNESS
A GLOBAL WITNESS
People often ask me what one word describes Billy Graham’s witness, but I have to use three: faithfulness (to his calling), authenticity (the same person on-on-one as in the pulpit), and integrity (doing the right thing, beyond doing things right).
I was reminded of that parallel paradigm by Dr. Jim Pleuddemann ’65, M.A. ’71, in his challenge to Wheaton Associates during my 35th class reunion in May 2011.
“The number one problem today is the disconnect between truth and life,” he said. “Knowing the truth is necessary, but not sufficient; neither is being able to discern culture.”
Recognizing Wheaton College exists to help build the church and serve society worldwide, Dr. Pleuddemann likened that mission to a split-rail fence, with the top bar representing the truth of theological orthodoxy and the bottom symbolizing cultural relevancy (to which I would add a middle rail of intellectual integrity, based on conversation with President Philip Ryken ’88). Since a fence must be joined by posts, he concluded a Wheaton education provides that connection between truth and life, preparing students to be whole and effective Christians in today’s world.
I immediately realized this as the legacy of Billy Graham, a man consistently reported to preach with a “Bible in one hand and a newspaper in the other.” For him, the fence post that connects truth and cultural relevancy is the Word of God. Throughout his ministry, he has invoked his signature phrase, “The Bible says,” to emphasize and demonstrate how Scripture speaks to personal problems and societal issues.
Like the Apostle Paul at the Areopagus in Athens, for decades Billy Graham faithfully traveled to the Areopagi of our day—the world’s arenas and stadiums. At each crusade he temporarily turned these temples to the gods of entertainment and sport into cathedrals, to make the previously unknown true God known to crowds seeking to quench a spiritual thirst far beyond my physical craving for something to drink at Soldier Field years ago.
A COMMITMENT TO THE GOSPEL
A COMMITMENT TO THE GOSPEL
Mr. Graham considered every moment an opportunity to serve the Lord and share His gospel. One of my early encounters with his strength of character and commitment was in connection with the first network television interview I arranged for him on NBC’s Today. Assuming he would want to have a word of prayer before he went on the air, when we arrived, I informed his long-time traveling associate, Dr. T. W. Wilson, that I had pre-arranged a private area off the greenroom for us to commit the interview to the Lord.
“The first thing Billy did when he got up this morning was to start praying in his room,” Dr. Wilson replied graciously in what became an important teaching moment for me. “He prayed during breakfast and in the car on the way over from the hotel. He is praying right now and will continue to pray his way through this interview. Let’s just say Billy tries to keep himself prayed up all the time.”
I learned many such exemplary lessons about the responsibility and opportunities we have as followers of Christ to live lives pleasing to and effective for the Lord before a watching world. Another of these was Mr. Graham’s bold gospel witness through both word and deed whenever possible—including in every media situation—for which God honored his faithfulness.
While it is standard procedure for an interview subject to count to ten or recite what he had for breakfast during a microphone check before a broadcast, Mr. Graham would always quote John 3:16 from the New Testament. When I asked him why, he replied, “Every time I do an interview, I try to work the gospel into the conversation; but if for some reason I don’t have that opportunity, at least I know that the cameraman heard it.”
A PARTING CHALLENGE
A PARTING CHALLENGE
On my last visit with Mr. Graham to the Wheaton campus for his 50th class reunion in 1993, he gave a special challenge to graduating seniors in his commencement address. “Your generation will bear the brunt of the future’s uncertainties,” he said. “You can count your days, but with Jesus Christ as your Savior and Lord, you can make your days count.”
Billy Graham—Wheaton’s favored son, America’s pastor, evangelist to the world and my mentor and friend—made his days count; and he finished well, remaining faithful to his calling to preach the transformational message of the gospel throughout his public ministry.
His influence was so broad and his impact so far-reaching, we won’t know this side of heaven the extent of his legacy, no matter how clearly defined. And it is not likely we will see another like him in our generation.
